no intentions of doing so...:Þ
body art anyone?
was writing stuff on my balcony (on paper not on the balcony itself... was sitting there though:)... and i began doodeling on my hand...
if freud were alive he would have a field trip... haha
death instincts... that's what he called it...
according to my photocopied "introduction to personality" text book ... it states freud stating that everyone has an unconsious wish to die...
yes this post maybe distrubing... you may question my sanity... you may even ask me if i'm alright... am i suicidal?... no intentions of doing so...
but at times we gotta ask ourselves... how right was freud? i dont totally agree with freud... but i dont totally disagree with him either...
why do we engage in extream activities (eg. skateboaring down the hill while not knowing how to actually stop on a skateboard *view previous post*)? bunjee jump? parachute? drive fast?
sometimes i feel the other side of the ledge calling me... haunting?
it's an excape... but it's no good... that's what i tell myself... no use...
a lousy escape... it's a fast escape... but there's no other chance onwards...
no more chance to smile... to laugh again... a waste...
depression sucks... but what you do with it... makes the difference...
i choose life... another chance... an open door
Comments
Sunday 06/03/05, 15:33
stay away from marilyn manson's cds while having these thoughts ;)
seriously, it's just basic human instict to test our limits so we do these crazy extreme activities, our own crazy interpretation of living life to its' fullest.
Monday 07/03/05, 04:42
dont worry sendai... i dont own any marilyn manson cds....
thanx for the comment... but isnt it scarey how many people out there contemplating suicide?
i remember reading a story about a guy who wanted to kill himself... but because someone actually paid attention and helped him... showed him grace... he was able to make it... complete high school... an amazing story if you stumble across it... just something small and it can change someone's day... someone's life
Tuesday 08/03/05, 10:21
i agree with freud :) i'm not suicidal either but it does cross my mind once in a while when i'm down in the dumps.
your school pictures remind me of my high school in Abu Dhabi days :) hehe!
Wednesday 09/03/05, 02:45
suicide...always a really hard subject to broach for me. I have a friend who really struggles with it on a continual basis. It's hard for me as a generally optimistic person to understand her struggle. But as you said, show her grace and keep on loving her...I can't figure out what more I can do.
Wednesday 09/03/05, 03:36
which reminds me about the time you said youre always tempted to pull the fire alarm. :P
Wednesday 09/03/05, 08:11
thank you all for the comments... controversial picture... was actually 2nd guessing my decision on posting this up...
too provocative... extream... might give someone that's about to go over the edge that lil push that they need...
no intentions of doing so
sweet (my girlfriend) got pretty upset at this posting...
i wanted to take it down... remove it...
suicide ... is something that lurks in the dark... it helps to talk about it... we can help...
thank you all for your contributions, dea, kimm, sendai, missj, gailmonique
Wednesday 09/03/05, 13:52
no never to late for a response or a comment...
i some what agree with you but i disagree with you...
freud... haha
a controversial guy... his theories are wacked... but some of them are pretty true... he sees the cup half empty...
he's the yang... of the balance... he deals with the stuff no one wants to deal with...
cool fact about the leaded petrol... cant live with his invention... cant live with out it...
:)