My Dearest Cathy,

I'm back from a rather interesting weekend and I will save those stories for when we get together.

I had a chance to muse over your prose and couldn't agree more. Life is really about those special moments. But I think we get to decide which of those we call special. Someone once told me, \"nothing has meaning until we give it,\" so I am always trying to find the beauty in more and more of what I used to dub \"ordinary\" moments. But there really are no ordinary moments, just those we have yet to find meaning for.

So here is a reminder of one of those moments...a reminder that where you always are is HERE, at the center of your experience, with the clear awareness that it is all happenning within. That from HERE, you are the empty clarity for the fullness of life's display. This is a reminder to you Cathy, to let you know that where you are is EXACTLY where you're meant to be, and if you don't like it...wait a \"moment,\" it'll change. That's the beauty of movement through life and the challenge is letting go into it, a courageous act that is a testament to your love of this world, your availability to experience and the curiosity that brings you to this moment.

To sharing many moments with you...MD

My sweet Cathy,

I have read everything you wrote in your entries, both public and private. It is as though I am getting to know a side of you I never knew existed. I am riveted by every word, it's like I'm drawn into your thoughts and I am thirsting for more. I can't wait to open my computer at night and bask in the jewels of your personal insight. I would like to reiterate just how wonderful you write.

You know, this feels pretty good, it's like having this great conversation reserved for just you and me. I doubt anyone else is reading this but you.

So, on to some thoughts I have for the day...

I was thinking of what you said about trusting God to take care of that in which we have no control over. This is a good one for me and you're spot on about this meaning not doing anything and leaving it up to chance. God gives us the gift of life, we determine what to do with it. It's like a cooperative venture, we share the responsibility of both difficulties and delights. God provides the arena, we choose the game. God gives us our face, we choose the expression.

I also love what you said about \"the key is to surrender to the unknown.\" I am a firm believer of practicing passionate detachment. The value lies within the process, not in the specific outcome. Be passionate about what you do, but like you say, open your mind to new possibilites.

...Now I'm talking to you in person!! How lucky I am.

I'll sign off for now, I love you dearly...Marc

Dear Cathy,

This is the start of my thoughts to Cathy. This could prove to be quite rewarding.

It has been one of those days where I have the distinct feeling that THIS is the next day of the rest of my life. I have been walking in a daze today and congruous conversation eludes me. Vexed by my own thoughts, I think it was a day to just be still.

I have this dinner gathering tonight and I feel so unmotivated to go. My only saving grace is that Charllie and Julie will be there. Without these two people, I would be really alone here in LA and I consider them to be my family. They have truly come to my aid in my darkest hour and I feel like I owe them my life.

I keep replaying in my mind the words that were said last night. It was a night I did not want to end, yearning to fall into an endless abyss of that moment. A moment where only two people existed and love bled through every fiber of our being. I knew as I walked away, this moment was gone and the memory would be blunted forever. I woke up resenting responsibility as this was only serving to steal my memory away.

I will be still, and with this I await some kind of wisdom and peace. I am alone again and I await solitude's gifts. I think they are disguised in hurt and pain at the moment but I know this is right.

I love you so much Cathy, you are in my heart forever...

To live an entire life without understanding how we think, why we feel the way we feel, what directs our actions is to miss what is most important in life, which is the quality of experience itself.

Deconstructionism is the latest form of a perspective that has emerged at regular intervals throughout history. I refer to the ideas that language is inherently unstable (or the written word) and shifting and that the reader rather than the author is central in determining meaning. So it goes that there is no way of knowing anything beyond direct experience itself. If I try to tell you of the sufferings of my childhood, the words I use will bring a first level of distortion into the tale, and your interpretation of my words will distort the story even further. Neither logic nor scientific discourse can avoid mystifying through their attempts at communication. There is no way to get to reality through words, all generalizations are suspect, and the sharing of meanings between minds is an illusion.

We need to cultivate more than logic if we want to thrive in the future. We must foster intuition to anticipate changes before they occur; empathy to understand that which cannot be clearly expressed; wisdom to see the connection between apparently unrelated events; and creativity to discover new ways of defining problems, new rules that will make it possible to adapt to the unexpected.

Define your rules of wisdom and get out there and live them...

Well, technically, only the amount of sun is getting shorter, or rather, the sun is starting its retreat towards the south. Ironically, the days keep getting hotter and here in Southern California, the hottest days are those closest to the end of the Summer. It's as though the heat has overthrown the arc of the sun.

I wrote this really long passage that was lost so I recap with simply this:

Today was a magical day. I got to spend the day with someone I love dearly doing something I am passionate about. I made a huge mistake by taking on the blame for something and I could not get beyond the downward spiral I made for myself. In the end, I made an assumption that was so off base that I ended up disappointing the one person whom I alway, always wish to be there for.

I feel ashamed. Forgive me Cathy...

This is my first entry so I will keep it short so I know this works.

I was very productive today at work, we are building a huge fence for these nice people in Venice. This fence is over 9 feet tall and is built out of redwood. We are having fun doing this because neither Jim nor I have ever built anything like this. Sometimes this can be so creative this job, we are often faced with challenges everyday on how we are to accomplish these projects. We always seem to make things work, no matter how complex they originally sounded. It amazes me sometimes what I can do and figure out. At the end of the day, I can physically see the results and I feel a tremendous sense of satisfaction. Most of the time the customer will only see the end result, missing all the nuances along the way, but as long as they are satisfied, then it is a job well done.

I am very excited for Cathy and her new job!! She is still unsure if this will be something she will enjoy but I commend her for taking the chance. I love this woman, she is a total inspiration.

That's all for now.

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