i am having another one of those
don't-bother-me-don't-come-near-me -don't-even-think-about-it!!!
days.
...
since the 29th of May -
i haven't had the chance to be alone and
Think Of Myself.
i've had it.
i snapped on friday night which catapulted to yesterday.
cause i find it very hard to believe
that everyone wants
me to be all over the place, expect me to be there
for them no matter what - not bothering to ask
if am ok.
...
i feel very claustrophobic right now.
everyone is treading into my personal space
and into my every thought.
i REALLY don't want to talk to anyone.
i NEED to lock myself in my room.
throw my phone in the back of my closet.
i just want to stay in bed
the entire day
and sleep.
and cry.
and shut myself from the world.
i don't wanna have to pretend that things are ok
and put others before myself -
just for one day,
Let. Me. Be. God.
Let me cry, scream, be angry.
And cause i feel sick too (FANTASTIC TIMING)
let me be.
Allow me that please, or am gonna go insane.
It just so happens that my brother is here for a visit
and i cannot just let him be alone
in this foreign city.
it's not very nice to do that.
and he has no clue what am going through
cause he has enough going on in his mind
and i don't wanna trouble him.
Am struggling to be a good sister, and company.
...
am gonna go away.
soon.
i don't care
if it's inconvenient for anyone
or that it is dangerous that
i travel alone when am depressed.
don't-bother-me-don't-come-near-me -don't-even-think-about-it!!!
days.
...
since the 29th of May -
i haven't had the chance to be alone and
Think Of Myself.
i've had it.
i snapped on friday night which catapulted to yesterday.
cause i find it very hard to believe
that everyone wants
me to be all over the place, expect me to be there
for them no matter what - not bothering to ask
if am ok.
...
i feel very claustrophobic right now.
everyone is treading into my personal space
and into my every thought.
i REALLY don't want to talk to anyone.
i NEED to lock myself in my room.
throw my phone in the back of my closet.
i just want to stay in bed
the entire day
and sleep.
and cry.
and shut myself from the world.
i don't wanna have to pretend that things are ok
and put others before myself -
just for one day,
Let. Me. Be. God.
Let me cry, scream, be angry.
And cause i feel sick too (FANTASTIC TIMING)
let me be.
Allow me that please, or am gonna go insane.
It just so happens that my brother is here for a visit
and i cannot just let him be alone
in this foreign city.
it's not very nice to do that.
and he has no clue what am going through
cause he has enough going on in his mind
and i don't wanna trouble him.
Am struggling to be a good sister, and company.
...
am gonna go away.
soon.
i don't care
if it's inconvenient for anyone
or that it is dangerous that
i travel alone when am depressed.
i need a vacation from myself.
...
image from exploding dog