I've had a Blogspot account for so long but it's only tonight that I decided to try it. So I've transferred my entries to Blogspot as well, and I'll see how it goes.

My new blog

Feel free to comment!

I was talking to my friend Greg, who was inviting me to go out with him and his friends to a sushi bar in Venice. When I hung up the phone, I realized something - all my past boyfriends have always loved sushi. Go figure! So maybe I should hang out at Japanese restaurants more often. :D

I recently pulled this snippet from the book A Life Of Pi by Yann Martel. I thought I'd share this passage here - I've always talked about being consumed by fear sometimes, and this passage really describes the sensations and feelings so accurately. Maybe the physical side varies, but the psychological part is right on the dot, at least for me.

I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.

Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.

Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you’ve defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.

I wish it wouldn't look so dorky to take a camera into the climbing gym and have someone take photographs of me. Last night, I did my first lead climb. Marc taught me the basics for a few minutes and then off I went. It's exciting to be the "first" one to climb, to have to clip in, and feel like I'm taking on more responsibility somehow. Of course, I totally froze for five minutes when I was asked to practice a fall on a lead climb, and I just couldn't bring myself to let go of the hold. It took a lot of encouraging words and reassurances (which sounded weird, because they were saying, "Let go! Fall! Fall!", which in itself doesn't sound encouraging relative to climbing, does it?) for me to finally take the fall. And that's only the beginning because I cheated and fell right after clipping in instead of higher so that it would be more realistic. But that will come with time.

I recently just clicked the Place Your Order button on the Apple website. Yep, I've gone and bought myself an iPod. After all the irritating indecision I've been going through about this (I spent an hour making pouty faces at the Apple store because I couldn't decide what to get and Marc, who was of course only trying to help, wouldn't make the decision for me), it's finally done. Whew!

New Year's resolution: Make up your friggin' mind faster, Cathy! Gosh!

And of course, since it's my iPod, I had to put a cheesy saying on it. Now I have to buy a cover so not too many people will know what I've had engraved on it. :D

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My boss John is going away on a ski trip to Whistler. I'm totally envious, because I've heard so many good things about that place. I'm looking forward to when I can travel more, because I'm really getting into skiing, and I crave more practice. It's so much fun to be in the snow, especially on trails where no one is around. Everything is just so peaceful, and I can ski without feeling self-conscious about myself.

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Oh, and of course since the warm days are coming, I've already gotten my swimsuit fix. God love that Victoria's Secret catalog. I always get excited looking through that magazine - summer is just around the corner, and I can't wait to hit the beach and go bodysurfing or bodyboarding again.

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And did I ever mention that I've gotten on the Adventure 16 bandwagon as well? Everytime I'm in the area, I have to swing by the store, and I inevitably end up purchasing something. Hmm. I suppose it's not so much the store itself, but that since I'm getting into climbing more now, I find myself trying to stock up on clothes that I can use. My Amazon wishlist is peppered with climbing pants that I want, and I'm always on the lookout for stretch sport tank tops. Image-conscious? Nah, I actually use it as a reward. Everytime I go up a notch with my bouldering or if I'm able to climb one level higher, I treat myself to something. How's that for motivation? ;P

Phlog has upgraded to their new system, and I was given two options for the interface. I'm testing out this one, just for a change, but I'm a little bit bothered by the fact that it's hard to tell when an entry ends and a new one begins. But oh well. This will have to do for now, until I'm able to get a customizable blog (which I have been meaning to do for the past three months).

Anyway, I got an email from a friend today, and she has this awesome quote that I wanted to share with people!

"To be drop dead gorgeous and extremely intelligent is a curse, but don't despair, my friend, suffering is good for your soul. "

Whew! It's a little breezy in here right now. But this is a welcome punchline on down days, so maybe it will help someone out there as well. It made me laugh, which made this day even better than it already is.

I'm always attracted to drama so I'm changing my Lenten abstinence for a third time: I am going to strive to be cheerful, and to be much more social, and to listen more. It's interesting to hear what people have to say because it gives me a better idea of who they are. I suppose that's why most times that I meet someone for the first time, I like to be quiet and let them talk, because I always like to know what kind of thoughts are in their head, what interests them, what they like to talk about.

This past weekend was our much-awaited Big Bear ski trip. Daisy flew down from San Francisco just to be able to celebrate Angela's and Andy's birthday with the whole group. Their family had a spacious and fully-equipped two-bedroom timeshare condo, and we all squeezed into it.

Joedie, Angela and Daisy took a ski class on Saturday, while Daniel, Hedwige and I went up (on the East Mountain Express lift, mostly) and skiied down the trails. At one point, since I was with advanced skiiers, I had to go down a black diamond, and it didn't turn out to be too bad. I was actually able to make it down with only a couple of falls. But it sure did build up my confidence because I was still alive at the bottom of the trail!

Then we sat down to a sumptious dinner at home Saturday night - there was a roast, salmon, asparagus, corn and rice. And of course the sansrival birthday cake, that was super yummy but loaded with sugar. There goes the diet!

We skiied half the day Sunday too; I went with Daisy to the bunny slope a couple of times and taught her how to make turns (their stupid ski teacher didn't even get that far - what a ripoff!), and I was happy when we met up again afterwards and she told me that she was able to improve her turns, and even made it to the other trail. :) Fulfilling! Also, Sunday, when I was on my own, I ventured onto another black diamond, and I made it, no falls! Whew! Now if I can only make it with my eyes closed..... :P

At 2:30pm, Daisy and I had to haul ass out of there because she had to be at the airport by 5, and I wanted to go to mass. Well, neither one happened. Daisy missed her flight (but was able to catch the next one), and I ended up simply hanging out at the Literati cafe on Bundy and Wilshire.

Anyway, here is a picture of me while I was on the lift. This was taken Sunday, right before my black diamond run. These two girls from Manhattan Beach were with me on the lift, and they offered to take my picture.

Today is the beginning of Lent, and I'm supposed to come up with something for my abstinence this year. Last year, I tried to abstain from ice cream, but when my dad came for a visit, he bought a half-gallon of one of my favorite flavors (Private Selection's Moosetracks), so I caved.

This year, I'll try to be better. I think I'll give up chocolate, and see if I can handle that. As long as I hide that huge bag of M&M's that I recently got (but which I've eaten half of already), I think I'll be fine. Of course, John also has to stop coming up to me from nowhere and handing me half of the chocolate bar he's eating.

Fasting is going to be much harder though. Already today, I've eaten more than I should have. Grace just hosted a luncheon here yesterday, and today the leftovers are screaming to be eaten. There's cream cheese and salmon with capers, there's the yummy fried rice she made, and she just brought me a plateful of fruit. Yikes! I might have to skip dinner altogether to compensate for all the food that I've eaten so far today.

Honestly though, I'm not so driven to fast. Abstinence is one thing, and actually it can be kind of fun, like a mind game you play on yourself. But fasting? It's a good thing that we don't have to do it for forty days, but still... it's torture not to be able to eat when I've come from a workout, and I'm climbing tonight. I'd probably pass out if I don't eat anything.

So okay, no chocolate for 40 days. Doable. I think.

Zanzibar is fast becoming one of my favorite clubs. And since lately I've been dancing a lot, I'm suddenly getting caught up with the desire to take up salsa dancing. I've always said that I enjoy the best when I have a dancing partner, and it's really because I can make dancing \"interactive\" somehow. I don't know how else to describe the attraction. But anyway, salsa dancing requires a partner, so I know I'll like it. Plus I like the sensuality of it, although I want to make sure the partner that I find won't be some psycho pervert. It has to be just like the guy Jennifer Aniston dances with in Along Came Polly: good-looking but undeniably gay. ;)

Got home kind of early actually - well, late for a Monday night, but early for a night of dancing. But I slept at 3am after a much-needed conversation, which I hope will be concluded sometime soon - and in the most favorable way possible. Sigh.

My friend just called me.

Friend: \"So do you want to go tonight?\"
Me (ears perking up): \"Where?\"
Friend: \"The KCRW party.\"
Me: \"What time?\"
Friend: \"Eight o'clock. But I'll pick you up 8:30.\"
Me (calculating climbing time, driving time and dress-up/prep time with lightning fast speed): \"Okay!\"

I have no idea what this party is all about, and I have no idea who's going to be there. Party animal? Nah, just trying to find distractions and amusement.